Therapy for Shame & Guilt Rooted in Childhood Emotional Neglect
Your shame has no clear source, because it grew out of what was missing, not what happened.
When a child’s feelings go unmet, the child often concludes the problem is them:
I’m too much. I’m not enough. My needs are a burden. Years later, that conclusion shows up as shame that feels like a core defect, or guilt over simply having needs. It often happens in families that were loving and well-intentioned, which is why it’s so easy to miss.
Insight alone rarely loosens it. In therapy, we work experientially with the part that holds this belief and give your system the experience that updates it, so you can stop carrying a verdict you never earned.
How shame and guilt may show up:
I have a core defect, with no clear origin
It is hard having needs, saying no, or taking up space
My inner critic that treats every mistake as proof of the verdict
I have difficulty identifying feelings, or
I sense I am hiding who I really am
On the outside I look driven and high-functioning but privately I feel like I am not enough
Many of my clients are accomplished, capable, and highly self-aware. They know the shame isn’t rational, but insight hasn’t loosened it
Psychotherapy Sessions
Sessions are offered in two timeframes:
50 minutes : $250
90 minutes: $325
I am an “out of network” provider meaning I do not work directly with insurance companies and session fees are paid directly by the client following each session. However, depending on your insurance plan, you may be able to be reimbursed for out-of-network therapy.
Psychotherapy Intensives
I offer several different therapy intensives for CEN:
*Learn more about Each by clicking above. Please inquire about intensive rates by filling out the contact form.
Feel free to check your out-of-network benefits by clicking here:
What therapy looks like:
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Maybe you already know… but if not, we identify how emotional neglect shaped your adaptations and what they’re protecting.
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Developing the ability to notice, name, and tolerate emotion, often for the first time.
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Approaching the critic, the achiever, and the numb part with curiosity rather than fighting them.
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Known as Memory Reconsolidation-
Providing the new experiences that allow old beliefs (“my needs are too much,” “I’m on my own,” “I’m not enough”) to change.
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Carrying the changes into your relationships, work, and daily life.
Other FAQs:
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Shame isn’t learned only by being shamed or embarrassed by others. Shame sometimes is a protective state against not being seen or attuned to enough. If we aren’t seen, heard and delighted in, we can learn that we aren’t good enough to be loved.
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Guilt says: I did something bad.
Shame says: I am bad
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Understanding is a vital first step, but patterns formed through experience often need a new experience to shift. That’s the focus of my work.
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Yes. I’m licensed in California, Connecticut, Virginia, Washington, and Florida.